Thursday, December 3, 2009
a mess.
i know its been a long time since i've britten and i dont really know where to begin. my life is a mess and thats the best way to descibe it. i'm alone and really tired of just having one friend. i want to restore friendships. i want to laugh and smile again. i want to feel like i'm worth being here again. i'm tired of my life just being softball and school. i want my friends back. i'm tired of being accused of things. i hate being ok with sitting alone and feeling like an outcast. i'm tired of not desiring God. i'm tired of not having loving relationships. i want that joyful spirit i used to have back. i'm tired of wishing my life away to get away from everything i'm dealing with. i want everything to be ok. i want to enjoy my senior year. i want it to be the best years of my life like everyone says they are. i want my old friends back, or atleast friends. i want happiness back. i just want me back.
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think of when you see a peice of art, a sculpture or a painting. the part that isnt in the museum is the coat stained with paints, the floor covered in splotches and used clay, the hands coated in oil and greese, and the room that overall looks like a mess.
ReplyDeletebut the difference between art and a doodle, is that doodles and sketches dont require a mess.
I hope that helped a little. hang in there