i guess that my life never stops. i'm always busy and to title every one of these having to do with finding time and being busy would just be retarted. so anyway. Finding time for God in my busy schduel is difficult. and i hate it.
but on the other hand i just dont undertand it. well i guess none of us ever will. i just dont understand that when we run the other way from him. he still blesses us. that this whole past week. i went without a devotion. and yet we still won both of our games, he blessed me with great friends that decorated the locker room for my birthday and suprised me with it.
the only thing thats really been difficult in my life recently is guys. theres one that is after me i guess you could put it. hes a real nice guy. but theres a thing with him. i know he loves jesus, but i want it to be evadent in the guy that i dates life. i want to see it all out whole heartedly. and i just dont see it in him. its confusing. that hes in my life. but its not exactly what i want. so i'm not sure if hes the one in Gods plan for me right now, or not. because there are definatly others that i know that i would say yes to in a heart beat because i see jesus living in them. one especially that i've known for a while. and am pretty good friends with. but i guess. just because its what i want. doesnt mean its what God wants. i just wish sometimes. that would happen. like you could write what you want. but in the end Gods plan is better. its just hard to see and i really honestly dont understand why this guy was brough into my life. i mean i'm gunna go to prom with him but other than that.. i dont want to be anything more. but some of the other guys i would in a heart beat.
sometimes i just wish i could see into the future and know his plan. but i guess i cant do that. because hes the on that knows my plan. not me.
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